Drive the Cutesy Out!

When I was 6 or 7, my dad and I used up a quite a lot of blank paper drawing various ingenious ways for the 7-Up Dot guy to be maimed and killed. You remember the 7-Up Dot? Part of the 80s/90s marketing phenomenon of using cartoon-type mascots to sell anything. Sunglasses. A certain detached cool attitude.

Raisins? Turn them into a rock band.
Ritz crackers? Turn them into weird moon-surfing junkies.
Toothpaste? Wasn't there something about a moon-faced character?

I can't remember them all, but I'm pretty sure Henry Selick (of Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline directing fame) is responsible for the Ritz ads.

Anyway, what I'm talking about here is the primal urge to destroy all things cute and bubbly. How many Barbies have been put in sexually compromised positions or been decapitated? Like McD's hamburgers served, billions and billions.

Have you seen the Happy Tree Friends?

Anyway, I think the urge to destroy the cloying and the cute comes from both an innate sadist dark humor place, but also the need to balance.

Actually, back that up. I was going to go on about how we use the extreme opposite (violence) of extreme cuteness to return to a middle ground. But that's stupid.

What we're really doing is torquing the cuteness in another twisted direction. Making it more extreme. Trying to find the cliff to drive off of instead of safely braking and returning to normal cruising speed.

In honor of bolstering cutesiness with violence/mayhem, here's a classic reimagined.

Don't you just love the cinema?

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